Piece Together
by summerIIfire
Summary: After the little scene at the edges of Yaschas Massif with Vanille, Lightning seems colder than ever to oblivious Hope. Figuring out Lightning was far more complex than Hope originally thought. /HxL/ /Chapter 2 is Light POV/
1. Piece Together

**A/N: **Pretty new to this side of the fandom (FFXIII that is) and well, I feel inspired these few days (and I have yet to see the ending of the game, so tone down the spoilers :D) and it's all about my favorite OTP in FF, HopexLight (SEE EVEN THE NAME! it's like you can't have hope when there's no light, and no light means no hope—OMO IT FITS!) *ahem* sets that aside/ well, hopefully I did a good job on portraying them… let's see if I can get Hope's character right.

**Title:** Piece Together

**Pairing:** Hope/Lightning

**Summary**: After the little scene on the edges of Yaschas Massif with Vanille, Lightning seems colder than ever to oblivious Hope. And because understanding why Lightning was mad in the first place was something Hope couldn't figure on his own, Snow and Sazh decided to give the poor kid advice from their aged and experienced minds.

**PIECE TOGETHER**

**{**_LxH_**}**

"Move!"  
"L-Light!"  
She doesn't answer; the whole group already jumping down the cliff, leaving me confused as to why Lightning was acting so distant. Okay, well sure she is basically distant to everyone, but… I thought, what we had was different—I mean, uh… I mean, after all that time in the Vile Peaks and through Gapra Whitewood—something must have changed after that. _Of course, Hope… build yourself up for a long fall. _  
"Hurry up kid, Sis is serious—she_** will**_** leave**_** yo**_**u** behind if you don't pick up the slack," Snow said before jumping down the cliff. What else could I do, wander around here thinking about WHY all of the sudden Lightning refuses to talk to me? _Actually…_  
"Hope!" I nearly fell off the cliff, when I heard her shout my name with an eerie reminiscent of our talk before Odin. _You're a liability_, I can't have that happening—I'm stronger now and besides, "I promised to keep her safe too." And perfect landing; I looked up, searching for the quick (but still) smile that only appears before me._for me._  
"What are you expecting a 'good job'? Are you a pet now, let's go."_Ouch. _  
"Light…" another cold shoulder. What the hell did I do? Can't she just tell me, I'd like to go up to her…okay, scratch that, I can't go up to her when she's already pissed like hell. I'd be next in line to the death list after Snow—if it's Light's D-list—I'm happy being ignored thank you very much.

* * *

"Aww… why so glum, you want to go check out more of Gran Pulse with me, I'm sure that would brighten up your mood!" always the bright and bubbly; sometimes I can't help but compare her to Lightning. Vanille is bright as the sun itself, while Lightning is… Lightning is as mysterious and beautiful as the view of Cocoon from Pulse; sure Cocoon can't compare to Pulse, but when it comes right down to it… I'd rather go back to Cocoon, L'Cie or not L'Cie.  
_Same with Lightning_; I forced a smile, "I'm fine, winded that's all. I'll take five—"  
"B-but…" she sighs; I was holding my breath—it's either she'd force me, or just leave me alone for a few minutes than force me again. "Alright, Fang!" _Of course._  
"Well, well, if it isn't Mr. darkcloud ruining a day in hell—"  
"Sazh, what did I tell you about calling Gran Pulse—"  
He laughs a small level of fear present in the tone. Sazh sat beside me, Chocobo immediately flying near my face as if another 'what's wrong?' person. I guess they're all worried…_ well not all, there'sjust_… "I see. So it's a woman problem that's got you down. I've got to say Hope, for a kid to turn soldier in a few days, this is disappointing." He chuckles, and I find the banter a little comforting.  
I wonder what gave it off? Was it the uncontrollable staring, the moments where I'd cherish calling her 'Light' and not 'Lightning', or that I'm not behind her everywhere now. It wasn't my entire being's fault that my eyes are attracted to her, no, that's like blaming gravity for falling objects—_it's only natural. _  
"What…heh, nevermind."  
He snickers, "If you're wondering what gave it away, it's that stare of yours." Chocobo flies back to him, kweh-ing about things I'd never find the time to think things through now, "Right you are chocobo! It's that whole aura of yours! It just screams 'lost puppy', I mean chocobo here's a chick but it can hold out without me or Dajh every now and then."  
"He~~eey, wha'cha guys talking about, I just got back with Lightning—"I just heard her name and instantly my eyes darted for the person's voice, "…what's with the needy look there, Hope?"  
"Girl troubles." Sazh simplified.  
I heard a very, VERY stifled 'pfft' and snicker coming from Snow. Well I could have what guessed the 'pfft' for, but WHY exactly are they laughing—it's not funny. I'd like to see him try to go a whole day with Serah cold shouldering him, and we'll see what's so funny. "Whoa-whoa, there goes your look again. Going to murder me now that Lightning's gone?"  
"Shut up."  
He snickers, "Easy, easy. I have nothing against what you feel kid, but damn. Lightning of all the women in the world…" I know, I know it's an impossibility… it's a stagger rate of 999.99%... but it's just how it should be. How Lightning is, there is nothing about her that looked imperfect. That's why I wanted to follow her, I wanted to be strong like her, and as I grew up by her side, the longer I watched and stood behind being guarded by her powerful stance… the more I wanted to protect and save her. "…Oh… boy, this can't be happening. Are you serious here Hope?"  
"What? I haven't said anything!"  
"You… love her, don't you?"  
My throat dries and the feeling of throwing up was near. I was hearing a couple of hysterical laughter and some thumping on the wood we sat on, but for the life of me I couldn't manage to clear the words out of my mind. I know I want to protect Lightning, to save her, but does that mean…  
"… that I… I… love," I gulped, "her?" they exchanged looks and laughed again; I have yet to see what's so funny about this. "Guys, c'mon. I need some wisdom from experience."  
Snow takes a deep breath, composing himself and punching his right fist to his open left hand, "What do you need?" Sazh nodded; "We'll do our best, so shoot."  
"Well first, Lightning's been really… uhm…"  
"Mean."  
"Cold."  
"Nasty."  
I gave them a slight glare, "No, no and definitely no! Just… she's being distant, lately…and I don't know why. Does she seem different to you guys lately?"  
They both shake their heads.  
"Same solider girl as before," Sazh commented.  
"Eh… Lightning hasn't really warmed up to me yet." That's because you're marrying her sister, Snow really, sometimes I wonder what Serah saw in you.  
"That's odd… before—"  
Sazh interrupted, "We know, you're like the only living being on earth besides her Eidolon, and Serah that stuck to her and still ended up fine. I sure remember trying so hard to run after soldier girl at the Hanging Edge, good times… er, bad times… I'm not really sure." He chuckles playing with chocobo chick again.  
"That's not it. Light was, I still hope she is, someone I could run to. She knows when I try to do my best, and when I try it just because she said to… I never complained as long as it's her asking me to do something crazy, I know... whatever Light said must have a meaning to it… somewhere." _But right now, why can't I. Why can't I be the one that knows what's wrong, did I do something wrong? Didn't I watch her back well enough?_ "What the hell did I do!"  
"Yo, easy kid, start from the beginning."  
So I told them what happened at Yaschas Massif, where Vanille and I were kidding around. It's been a long time since the Purge, when the Pulsian and I met, and the day I was thrust into a world of fighting for myself. But that was all, reminiscing, being friends…. From the start Vanille and I got a long, I'd like to think that, unlike some people that called me a nuisance. Reminiscing the day I met Lightning would just break my hopes of… well,_** that. **_  
"Who you said was with you and Vanille while you were flirting like that—"  
"I told you we're not flirting."  
"So who, huh?"  
"Us three were scouting ahead, Lightning—"  
Snow pushed hard on my forehead with his finger; I felt winded just trying to stay still, "Bingo! That's your problem; it's a man-law to never, EVER, ever COMPLETELY ignore a lady for another lady, especially if you like that lady."  
"Oh, that's just bad, bad omen right there, kid."  
"What…. What… what?"  
Snow and Sazh sighed; I was waiting for a kindergarten explanation on what Snow just said. "Listen up kid, let's say… Lightning, you and I went scouting ahead. And for some reason I wanted to talk her and ignore you, what would you feel?"  
"Uh… nothing… should I feel something?"  
"No, nothing is correct—but that's because WE'RE guys Hope, and Vanille and Lightning are girls, they're more touchy about those subjects."  
I wanted to say 'but Light's not like those girls, she's… different.' But all I could say was, "Oh… " it wasn't even an 'I understand' Oh, it was a 'you're confusing me so stop' Oh. Snow and Sazh, they tried their best to explain what I did; but in the end, I still didn't understand what made it so bad. All I know is, I did something and Lightning didn't like it one bit, the question now is…. What do I do about it?

* * *

  
"There's an ancient ruins up ahead, we should move camp… some Cie'th stones were there too."  
"They weren't ruins before, right Fang?"  
"Not to worry, Vanille, this place… is far from where Oerba is,"  
"I hope you're right…"  
Snow stands up, then Sazh, "More people to help huh, well what are we waiting for, let's go!" he says pumping his fist to the air and followed Vanille to the ruins, and so did Sazh and Fang. I managed to trudge forward and keep up with them (I was meters away from Lightning, she wasn't too enthusiastic to play Hero as Snow is).  
"Uhm… Light," she stops, her back still turned away. "I'm… I'm sorry."  
"Tch. Hurry up." I tried to catch up, dashing forward and latching myself by her wrist. To my surprise, she didn't pull away or push me away, she just stood there. Waiting. For what I have to say? For an explanation to 'I'm sorry', who knows? But what I do know is she isn't a patient person, and if I don't do something, _she would. _  
"For… ignoring you," _what!_  
"What?"  
"I mean… well, I meant… for something, I did something wrong didn't I?"  
She snorts, and pulls away walking forward. "Light… c'mon, if I did something wrong, just tell me!"  
"You didn't do anything. So shut up, walk and get moving, I won't be babying you."  
"What is… I just want to know why, you're acting like this." If you're going to act like everything we've been through was nothing and just** abandon **me, then why tell me that you'd _protect_ me? Or that you'll _stay_ with me? "What the hell, Lightning?"  
She raises her blade, swift and certain—I faintly forgot about the impending doom it would cause if I do get on her bad side. She drew it and recoils it again, "forget it. Let's just move and get this over with." There was a time when all I could look for in Lightning was strength, protection…and at that time, too, was fear. And if I hadn't changed, if she hadn't changed me, then I'd probably just nod and go with the flow. Exactly as she told me: _forget it. _  
But unlike before, I'm stronger now, and unlike before I made her a promise.  
"Not until you tell me why, why are you acting like this Lightning?"  
She merely nods her head to the side; I can read her as an open book at a time like this. It was her expression, her sighs and the way her eyes just slightly glare at the living:_ I have no time for this_. "Acting like what?" she says instead.  
"Like… like…" baffled, I really didn't know what was wrong with Lightning. She just ignores me, doesn't talk to me that much anymore and basically acted like the first time we met in Cocoon. But was that wrong? Is that something I should be demanding for her to change? Why do I want her to talk to me that much…great now I feel stupid.  
"Hmph, still just a kid." She mutters; her eyes a bit dull and sad, her voice stern albeit disappointed.  
"—Light, you've been acting strange since that scouting mission back at Yaschas Massif, and I don't know why. You were…" I can't tell her that 'you were always smiling at me, even if I did something small… said something I didn't think was all that helpful. You just were and now, you don't give me the time of day. What gives?' that would just screw things up more. "… nicer, no—no that's not it. You're not—"  
"I'm not nice enough for you, is that it? Well I'm sorry, the world can't all just be shilly-shally and happy like you want them to be. If you've forgotten, we're out here to save Cocoon, to save ourselves from the L'Cie curse and yet you find the time to be cuddling around with Vanille? Fine then find your nice, kind princess. I'm out of here." She explodes just like that, and in the bits and pieces of her anger I found my answer. She walked out on me—yet, I get the feeling I've been smiling like an idiot since she did.

* * *

"So Hope, you find out why Light's been cold to you?"  
"Yes and no, really, it ends with an 'I don't know'." I chuckled, seeing Snow's face confused like he actually cares about this selfish problem made me see just how funny I looked asking them 'what I did'. It was obvious, for some reason her being 'Lightning' just confused me that much. I guess wisdom on this stuff comes with age and experience.  
"I don't get you kid, thought you'd work things out after we left?" Sazh came, his chocobo flying about and perching on top his head.  
"I knew that was planned. Just didn't know who to blame though," I gave Snow the classic 'I know it was you' look and sighed. "Well… it certainly helped, not by much, but it helped."  
"Hey-hey-hey! Why you go and pin this all on me!"  
"Because you and Sazh are the only ones that knows about the problem."  
Silence.  
With faltering hopes of redeeming the pride I had, I mutter a "She knows… doesn't she… even before, did Light tell you?"  
"Hey look here, we haven't heard anything about you from Lightning—"at least, that's something to hold on to. "But we did hear Vanille saying Lightning was treating her the same, a little cold and sour around the edges, and mightily fierce at the center. Whatever you two got going on, it's definitely bothering Lightning." Sazh interjected, and finally the pieces were aligned.

All of it piecing together the lofty, unbelievably, simple answer: The Lightning Farron was_ jealous_. A large grin made its way to my face, and soon after, a condescending smirk was playing at its corners. Who would've have guessed. The cold attitude, the sudden disdain, and of course the outraged explosion on a simple words such as 'nice'—it fit perfectly. Yet, after all that some questions still remain unanswered.

"Oh, the kid's got a creepy smile on his face, not good."  
Snow huffs and chuckles, "Nah, Hope just figured out his problem. And my guess, it's just as unbelievable as we thoughtt it was."  
"Who'd have thunk, ah well no use thinking about that. What you gonna do about it?"  
I gave them my best try at a serious face (when all you feel is ecstatic and inconceivable joy, it's quite an effort to keep a straight face), "I'm gonna go talk to her."

* * *

"Lightning—"  
She side-glances and nods for me to sit, "can I, talk to you about… the last time we talked?"  
"This again, Hope, I said forget it." She sighs, and moves to stand up, and walks away.  
"I don't want to forget it. I want to make it up to you." I, of course, followed.  
And for the first time in a long while, she smiles. When I first saw her smile like that, in the Gapra Whitewood, I didn't think much of it then. It was just another 'good job, Hope', I never really saw it's rarity until she decided I'm not worthy of it anymore. Then after so long, she finally turns to me with that gentle and perfectly constructed smile.  
"Whatever I did, or am doing. I'm sorry, and I want you to know that. I'll keep my promise to you, like I've always been. I wanted to become stronger so that I could protect Light too, so… please don't make it harder for me. If I do something wrong, tell me. If you don't like me talking to Vanille, then I won't. Just… just don't shut me out." I walked towards her, grabbing hold of her hand. "Anything but that, Light."  
"Hope…" She makes a face I can't discern for either guilt or happiness. She sighs and chuckles, flicking away at my forehead again like in Palompolum. "Didn't I tell you, let go of sympathy and focus on your goal. You won't make for a good solider like this." She smiles.  
"Well… actually, my goal right now was to apologize, I did pretty well, huh?"  
"Don't push it."  
"I'll go see what Sazh and Snow are up to."


	2. Possession

**TITLE: **Piece Together [LIGHT POV]

**Pair/s**: HxL

**Summary**: After the little scene on the edges of Yaschas Massif with Vanille, Lightning seems colder than ever to oblivious Hope. And because understanding why Lightning was mad in the first place was something Hope couldn't figure on his own, Snow and Sazh decided to give the poor kid advice from their aged and experienced minds.

5.31.10 - minor revisions.

**PIECE TOGETHER**

_{HxL}_

"…_Do something for me, will you? Keep smiling._

Another Wyvern falls from the sky, another knot on my head easing away. It's the fiftieth monster we've come in encounter with since _that _public display of physical intimacy. It's not like I mind. I know Hope's fourteen and all, and he has a general tendency to fall under his emotions—but did he _really _had to do that on a scouting mission? I wasn't distracted. It didn't go to my head at all. I didn't get a few scratches and a bruise because of that—I was just… out of it, that's the explanation. That's the complete truth…_as far as they would know._

_ I—it makes me happy when you smile." _

"Light, Monstrous Flan at three—" I grit my teeth, drawing the gunblade and slashing through the flan as if paper. It was twice the size of the normal species we'd been seeing, but I find it easier to rip them piece by piece recently. "—or, not. What's eating you?"

"Hnn…" _It was none of their business, _especially none of hers. Fang shrugs off the unanswered question, deciding to talk her instead. How could she bounce around, smiling like the world wouldn't end in a few days—or that we'd turn to Cie'th if we don't find a way to erase our Focus? Oblivious, irresponsible, immature brat—_of course she'd be happy Light, someone just confessed to her. Idiot. _

"Lightning… hey, you need to take a break—"

"I'm fine. If you're not, go back to camp, don't drag me down with you." _Unlike you, I'm determined to find a way out of this. Unlike you, I don't focus on seducing people younger than me—admit it, _"Hope will probably be happy to see _you, _anyway." I jumped up the fallen ruins, doing flips here and there—I didn't expect her to tag along after that, so my pace was a lot faster.

"Lightning, don't talk to Vanille like that."

"Or what you'd spear me?" I spat out; rolling my eyes and unconsciously glaring at the said girl.

"Stop it, what's your problem, huh? Bitter and alone is that it? Serah will be fine, Snow—"_Why do they ALL immediately think I'm pissed off because of Serah or Snow? Can't I just be pissed off for no apparent reason!_ It's not possible, but I'd like to think being a complex enigma of a character could pass that off.

"—It's not about that!" She stops; a very cool smirk on her face, "It's not about Serah… or Snow… It's nothing." She tilts her head to the side; her look on me was searching, trying to figure out what was wrong. _I'd like to see you try_. Fang, unlike the _other _Pulsian, was more of a respectable person in my eyes—stronger, capable and driven. And when something was amiss, she'd notice it before we ever did. It was her trait, her character. _That means I'm screwed. _

_ "__**No…**_of course it's _not_ about Snow or Serah, right then. I'm shooting in the dark here, but is this about that little boy toy of yours?" _screwed. Screwed. Screwed. _

She smirks; I responded with a glare and a very annoyed: "He's not a toy!"

"Ah, but he is _yours_, ain't that right?" she snickers, smilingly too mechanically like she had been seeing this for awhile. She tones her voice to emphasize on 'yours', and I'd rather not start drawing out the imaginations circulating my mind. _Fourteen, twenty-one, seven years, _this was my mantra to stop whatever it is that would occasionally take over me. _Like in Palumpolum_.

It played on repeat, and before I knew it, Fang's stupid rhetorical question seeps in and devours the mantra. What is it to be _yours_, to be _mine? _I said before that I control my faith, and my life is my possession… _**'my'**_. It all started with that word: 'my'. They weren't just things, they were abstract possessions… they were lifeless, so to speak, so to say I own them is right, right? _Then what of people. What of Hope, can I even say he's __**mine**__?_

I shook my head, proceeding further through the long-winding path after a couple of cliff edges. Fang was following swiftly behind, a grin plastered on her amused face—and _that thing_ was following too, still all smiles and all of that crap. _Oh, Maker, why am I even mad at her? What's the use of staying mad at her—she, she didn't do __**anything**__. _"He lost focus. I'm disappointed with him." I mutter out, hearing another set of laughs erupt from Fang.

"I dare say, _who _could possibly make him lose focus on such things?" sarcastic.

"Lay off, now's really not the time—"

"Owiee…" Oh for the love of—what now! Can't we even go on a trek without her complaining about 'going to fast' and 'take a break'. Damn it, why did I even ASK her to come—it should have been…_that's right, it should have been Hope with me right now._ Fang was already at the scene, helping her up—turns out, little miss out of this world tripped on a branch, A RATHER LARGE BRANCH. _Who are you kidding! _A vein practically snaps.

"I told you didn't I." ice, "If _you're _going to drag _us_ down," cold, "then just go back to camp!" freezing.

"Lightning stop it!"

"No you shut up! Don't try to explain to me that a stupid branch did it—" I casted the large object to flames "—it's too obvious _not _to be seen" and then quenched them with a freezing spell. "Nineteen and still acting like a clueless five year old? Quit the act. Grow up. Come back when you're not a nuisance."

Fang pulls on my wrist, throwing me forcefully to look at the teary-eyed Vanille. She was whimpering; rage blinded my empathy and I grew only to hiss and glare at her. "Look at her, Lightning. What did Vanille do to you?" _honestly, nothing_.

"She just pisses me off."

Slap.

"Fang—!" the brat cries, "—stop that!"

The sheer pain on my cheek wasn't something to joke about—it felt like blood would come out soon if I don't remedy it with a cure spell. But I didn't— more of I didn't have to, _she already did that for me_. Her green eyes were staring at me with fear and pain; finally able to break the cold rage blocking my eyes. "I'm sorry, Fang, you shouldn't have done that." She says in a surprisingly serious tone.

Stepping forward, she takes a deep breath and winded her hand and sends it smashing across my face; "I was the one supposed to do that." She grimaces, albeit the kind light was still in her eyes—"Lightning, I'm sorry alright, I didn't mean to… hurt you—"

"—it's not your fault." I managed to say in a peaceful tone. Fang relaxes, finding the whole scene amusing now. It was written across her face: _those two idiots, fighting over a fourteen year-old._ I sighed, "really… you're just. Collateral damage."

"Oh…. What's that?" her voice sang; meaning to say, _all is forgiven_.

Fang puts an arm around her shoulder, "Easy, Vanille. IT means that you're not the reason why grumpy here is pissed. Collateral damage." She repeats, this time breaking into a couple fits of laughter.

Vanille's eyes narrows; apparently she still didn't get it. "Oh yeah, Fang!" her mood lifts, and a possibility that she forgot the conversation just now was very imminent. "Have I told you what sweet Hope said to me yesterday?" her face blushing, and smiling widely.

"Uh… Vanille—"

"… I haven't really considered liking a boy, Fang. Especially if he's not from Oerba, but after centuries past… I guess people from Cocoon are fine too—especially someone like Hope—"

"Vanille!"

"Oh… what am I babbling about, I just wanted to tell you that he said the sweetest thing, made me feel all warm and—" the force from my hand propels her a few meters away from where we stood. Her cheek already showing the signs of a bruise, and my hand didn't even feel anything after slamming my palm to her face.

"Things like that," I knelt down to her level (as she was sitting); boring deep dark holes into her. "Are better left unsaid." I stood up and continued on the 'scouting mission'.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Uhm… Light," He pauses; the Hope Esthiem from the Pulse Vestige—from the Purge, would have never even have the courage to look at me, nonetheless talk to me. He was a reminder, a chance to change what became of me when I decided to forego my past. He _wanted _to fight, he said he _needed _it—_Lightning, I'm glad I followed you… by myself, I would have had no chance, _he wanted **and** needed _me_. It's a little disturbing, to think this is all I am to him;"I'm… I'm sorry."

He took the words out of me; how can he apologize when it was me pushing him away? When all he did was make us (me) forget about all this l'Cie business when he talks about hope? How could he have _grown _so much? "Tch, Hurry up." And then it all made sense: he _is _growing up, and I'm not ready for it—was I clinging on to him, did I actually want him to stay by my side… always? _What am I thinking, now I think something really is clinging on to me…oh._ It was him and his big, round, green eyes staring at me. I let my breathing hitch.

"For… ignoring you."

_… Does he?_

"What?" His face pales; _exactly. _He was just making a highly competent guess, I'm impressed.

"I mean … well, I meant… for something, I did do something wrong didn't I?" Apologizing before even being sure of the reason why does that come off as a Snow factor than a Hope factor? I wonder where he got this idea; although I figure two knuckleheads fed him that 'woman are like this' crap. Even if I would have forgiven him right then and there, I was a little insulted he didn't put much thought into an apology. I shook his hold off, and walked further along the path: "Light… c'mon, if I did something wrong, just tell me!"

_If you did… You mean you don't know! _

"You didn't do anything. So shut up, walk and get moving, I won't be babying you."

"What is…" his sudden hesitation was something I was hopeful for; "I just want to know why you're acting like this?" I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him that 'insecurity' slipped in… when—_It makes me happy when you smile—_it burned, seethed and became an irrepressible boundary between us. Us, there's that word—what are we? And why did I get so annoyed when I saw him with Vanille at Yaschas Massif? And why am I so mad?

"What the hell Lightning?" I clicked the hilt of the Blaze Saber, drawing it into blade form and directed it towards him. His eyes went wide for a few seconds, and then he does _that_—his face fading into a frown, a small guilt filled gaze scanning over mine. _Damn it,_ I withdrew the blade and let out a sigh, "forget it. Let's just move and get this over with."

"Not until you tell me why, why are you acting like this Lightning?" his voice soft, concern flooding through it. His sincerity, forcing my mind to listen: "Acting like what?"

"Like… like," _say it, say I've been a bitch lately. Fang had no trouble saying that, she had no trouble slapping it across my face either. _Besides, you should have known by now why… I pushed you away. At that scouting trip, it was only you, me and her. _It's simple, Hope… just think—_he knows it's my defense mechanism, it's how I protect myself from those that might hurt me. Shut them out, shut them all out.

"Hmph, still just a kid." His mouth gapes slightly, the worry reflecting on his green eyes.

"—Light, you've been acting strange since that scouting mission back at Yaschas Massif, and I don't know why. You were…" _jealous? Annoying? Cold? What Hope, what? Just say it. Say that you like Vanille better. It's obvious, she would never act like this, that's why you like _her_. That's why…_ "—nicer, no—no that's not it. You're not—" _I knew it._

"I'm not nice enough for you, is that it? Well I'm sorry, the world can't all just be shilly-shally and happy like you want them to be. If you've forgotten, we're out here to save Cocoon, to save ourselves from the L'Cie curse and yet you find the time to be cuddling around with Vanille? Fine then find your nice, kind princess. I'm out of here." _I knew it all along. He probably knew it too, he just—he was just being Hope. A little too nice, afraid of hurting anyone. _Emotions are like this. They dig inside, and hurt you where it matters, cripple and traps you. My feelings doesn't matter when he's happy with someone else. I was mad, just like I was with Serah. But I let things escalate to a higher level again, but this time… I would understand, _I won't be selfish anymore._ He's happy, she is too—why would I break that? Besides… there are important matters, like making sure I see Serah again and that he doesn't turn into a Cie'th.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It's really better if I just let it go. I have no reason to be mad at him anymore—it's not doing the others good, I've been hostile and I know they have noticed. Fang would really try and injure me if I slap Vanille one more time, and Snow and Sazh… I wonder how long until they—

"Lightning…" _it's really better if we don't speak at all_; I nodded, _but I miss him. _"… can I talk to you, about the last time we talked?"

He doesn't let it go easily, does he? I guess… it's my fault that he's thinking like that. Before I could let the smile slip to my face; "This again, Hope, I said forget it." _But really, I don't want him to. If this is the last time he's going to be thinking about me over Vanille… I really don't want him to forget._ I stood up, walking away from him. Being near him… it's a lot harder to keep him out when he's right there begging me to let him in.

"I don't want to forget it, I want to make it up to you." _There was something there._ His voice was sure. The way he stood up to me and told me those same words I spat out at him at the Vile Peaks, it was the same tone. His voice reaching out to me, coaxing me to listen to what he has to say; a smile present on my face as I face him.

"Whatever I did, or am doing. I'm sorry, and I want you to know that. I'll keep my promise to you, like I've always been. I wanted to become stronger so that I could protect Light too, so… please don't make it harder for me. If I do something wrong, tell me. If you don't like me talking to Vanille, then I won't. Just… just don't shut me out." He reaches for my hand, his grasp on mine was as if I was going to slip away if he was to loosen his grip. "Anything but that, Light."

Amidst the realization that I overreacted, and at the words that were running through my mind at the moment, the many apologies for things I did… I could only utter one word; "Hope…" _I'm sorry, I… I was… so difficult. I didn't… I don't want to push you away anymore, I'm sorry…_ If I let my thoughts escape now, I would be in a place I'd rather not be; so with a flick to his forehead, and a smile. I forgave him,"Didn't I tell you, let go of sympathy and focus on your goal. You won't make for a good solider like this." _I won't push you away. _

"Well… actually, my goal right now was to apologize, I did pretty well, huh?"

"Don't push it."

"I'll go see what Sazh and Snow are up to." He smirks; he must be happy that we're in good terms now. I can't say I'm not happy either. _I've lost enough important people in my life, I don't think I can take it if the fal'Cie takes one more._ Although he had said to 'see what Snow and Sazh are up to' he stayed there, staring at me.

"What?"

He chuckles, "Vanille said you slapped her, what was that about?" the smirk on his lips wasn't the only thing that made him sly under the Pulsian night. His eyes were gleaming, and I'm not sure if I liked the thoughts that went through his head.

"I'm warning you, don't push it."

He smiles, "Alright. I won't," turns and walks away. _Seriously that kid, _"And Light, if you're going to act like this again, I'm really going to think you really _like_ me." He chuckles, and runs away. I felt the teasing get to me; the red dash across my face was burning, and words were stuck to my throat like glue.

"Hope!"


End file.
